anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
