He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
