Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
