u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
