When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
