you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
