i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize