PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
