Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
