Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
