accomplished twins. life is a go
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
