Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize