is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
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We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
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I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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