I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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