Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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