but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize