WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
