I CAN MOONWALK!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
