We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
