he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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