Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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