Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
