No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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