you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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