Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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