Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
True strength comes from lack of pants
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
