I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
