And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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