do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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