I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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