i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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