So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
