We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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