I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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