I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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