marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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