her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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