Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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