You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
