he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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