How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
