stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
don't judge my taste in strippers
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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