I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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