well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We are all done wearing pants today
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
