doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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