it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
