Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
