Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
