only if we run a train.
done.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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