I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize