I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
