You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
