Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
