why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
