i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
