I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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