so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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