I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize