The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
