He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
