I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar