So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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