For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
