Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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