You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
accomplished twins. life is a go
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Drake has all the answers