I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he was CRYING into my vagina
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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