After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
