I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
